Problem with easily obtained things
There are currently a few things I am trying to obtain in one way or another. With most of them, I really try to put in effort regularly although some shortcuts exist there too. But I have never been a guy who chooses easy options. I feel like the reason I tend to behave like that is because I try not to be "like others". You know, when someone is given an easy choice and they do not even think twice. As they say, the easier something is, the better it is.
But I have noticed that every time I get something without effort, it is so underwhelming. As much as I cannot stand exams, I do not feel like cheating. Yes, that's right. I would rather waste a lot of time passing them than rely on my luck and my classmates' help. It is true that I shouldn't really wonder where all my time goes when I have such an attitude — dedicating myself to things that I could care about less.
On the other hand, I honestly could use some wisdom from people who know how to care just enough to achieve a specific result. The all-in strategy is quite time-consuming. Maybe if I applied it to something that really makes my eyes shine, I would not mind it. But being so dedicated to my university studies just reminds me again how lost I have been feeling.
I think it is interesting how the title of this post is tied with my previous sentence. Feeling lost genuinely sucks. But if I found my passion quickly without much effort, would I be proud of myself enough? Would that feeling last at least some time? It might sound strange but I am glad I have not found myself yet. I do not think I have done enough to find that amount of clarity. I do not think my current self has a solid foundation for his hidden passion. So it is very likely if I were to find a deeper meaning in my life, I would not be able to handle it to my best.