Sometimes I'm the nail, sometimes I'm the hammer
In our society, one's strength is usually measured by their peak. The best of their abilities. Someone who has achieved something great is immediately labelled as inspiring and unbreakable. But is jumping very high once is a true representation of how good that person actually is?
Granted, people such as professional athletes train for years to reach that point. There is no need to take away credit from them. But I am just wondering how this concept of "reaching a peak" applies to my own life. I have always thought that my true power is accumulated and cast when I am on the ball for some time. It may be unusual to see myself from that side, yet I genuinely love that feeling. I love when any struggle is not a struggle at all. I smash my fist against it swiftly and am ready to move forward.
That being said, one thing always follows after a rise. That's right it is a fall. I believe there are a few types of rises and falls. It is said that the faster and bigger the rise is, the more painful the fall will be. In fact, I have already written about a similar idea before. So, in my book, "overnight success" is not an achievement but a curse. Very few people can actually appreciate it and build their future moves on top of it. That's why I usually try to humble myself but saying good things take time, and I should be patient with my progress.
I have had great ups and terrible downs over the past few years. To be fair, I am sure most people go through the same experience in life. Having analyzed mine for a bit, I came to an interesting conclusion. The actual strength of my character can be seen not when I am in my optimal form, but when I am not doing so well. There is no need for forcing myself to get up in the morning and have breakfast when everything is fine. However, once in a while common and easy routines take a turn — I find myself barely being able to get up and do anything. Let me tell you that it is not fun whatsoever.
It is quite a paradox that familiar habits require 3-times-higher effort. For me, such periods are often about questioning my choices, myself. The inner critic starts speaking up as well. Many of my past mistakes flow around in my head.
But I do resist all these things. Even though I know I am far from my best form at that moment, I usually manage to overcome these challenges with dignity. And in times like these, I may actually see my real potential. I see that even being the nail, I am not as weak as it may look like. Nothing teaches me about myself as much as spending times in those darker and lower floors of my mind.
I want to be the hammer more frequently. But sometimes I need to be the nail. And that's okay too.